I dunno

All I ask is that you treat me with respect and that you're honest. Is that really asking for alot? Whether you're male or female, just be honest. I am 46 yrs. old soon to be 47 and I still can't figure people out.

I never was a plastic. My elementary and high school friends and I used to make fun of my sister and her friends because they were the plastics. Kissing on both cheeks, squealing at each other saying hi in the mornings before school... (after all they hadn't seen each other since the day before) We always hated that and swore we never would be like that, and I'm not. I am respectful too, unless you haven't earned it. UGH! I dunno!

Maybe I'm feeling a little sorry for myself today. Maybe I should become a plastic after all.

Emotional

I guess it's the time of year when I would normally have a breakdown. I'm not gonna do it. I have finally just told myself that I only need a few key people in my life. All the negativity has got to go.

So, to those of you who have been there for me...you know who you are I just want to say, I love you. I am so grateful and don't know how I could have survived without you. I'm always here for you.

The rest of you will need to give it some time and hopefully mature with age. You've been lucky. You haven't had to deal with real trauma and I sincerely hope you never will. I'd like to say that I'll be here for you when and if it happens, but I'm not sure if I'm that big of a person. I'll try.

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I will be working but will have a dinner on Friday. Thinking about shopping early am. Oh No She Dient

Good morning Olie

I was awakened this morning by my Olie. "Gross out alert", he was trying to hack up a hairball I thought. Turns out he just ate too much too fast. Food all over my bed. Nice way to wake up.

On the other hand, he is such a big baby, and I can be too. He scooted down to the bottom of the bed hangin his head. I called him up to the top and he immediately started purring and snuggled his head into the crook of my arm and passed out. He's always there when I don't feel good, how could I not be there for him?

So, you don't like cats? Don't read this. Bite me. I love my Olie, especially. There have been times when I have been crying or been sick etc... and he just knows that I need him. He will mysteriously find me wherever I am in the house and come snuggle and purr. :)

I'm losin it

So, I have officially started my trek to lose the extra pounds. I went to Jenny. I wish I could be sayin I went to Jarrods, but no Jenny. ha ha. And, no I don't mean to Jarrods for any ring. I mean to buy jewelry.

It's not that bad. I figure that with diet and exercise I'll be where I wanna be sooner than later. We never know what could happen tomorrow, so we gotta do what we need to do now. I'm lucky. I could be in a wheelchair right now as I write this, but I'm not!

I'm still having some issues with the boy. I've decided that I'm gonna leave it alone. I'm working on me and my happiness. He will benefit from it too. If I have to be gone all day, oh well.

shhh

The quiet isn't enough today
I need to be alone
If only I could become the wind
Then I would be gone

The quiet isn't enough today
I wish everything would stop
There isn't any hope for it
to be too slow, too shhh, too psst, too ahhhhh...

Almost forgot

The thing that made me have Parathesias was a pinched nerve we think. I have been going to Physical Therapy regularly and started on a strong anti-inflamatory drug. The dizziness is still happening, but hey, life isn't perfect. That's a wait and see deal.
I'm finishing up with PT in another couple of weeks and then I'm going to start going to a gym and starting with Jenny Craig. Some people are giving me a hard time about it. I want to at try to do the best I can while I'm feeling better. I have gained about 50lbs people.

Such a surprise

Member the saying... "When it rains it pours"? Well, I'm hoping that is starting to happen to me, and in a good way.
I've really whittled down my medications and am feeling so much better. I seem to have a bit more energy and in turn am wanting to get outside and do stuff. I have been told to take it easy, but I really want to do everything I can. It seems like it's been forever since I've felt good.
A couple of months ago I even got up the nerve to ask a guy out. Me, yeah, I know. It was hard, but hey I did it. So, I went out and bought some of the stuff us girls need and was kinda blown away when he didn't call or show up or even say kiss my ass. This particular guy is someone I've known for quite a while and thought he would be so sweet. Surprise.
Now for the good part. Yesterday, I got an e-mail from a guy I've been out of touch with for almost a year. It was all good. Yep. Pretty friggin amazing even. So... now what?

Symptoms...related or not?

Woke up today with a numb right shoulder, arm and hand. Also, half of my left uppper lip was numb. Weird. I just worry when things like this happen cuz ya never know. Once a person has experienced something like a Dr. telling you that you need to have brain surgery, you kinda keep up with things like numbness.


So, now it's back to getting an appointment with my favorite Doctor of all time. No, it is not the one that everyone thinks. I went to see him before and he was a complete jerk. No, I will see my Dr. Herman. I absolutely would recommend him to anyone who needed any kind of advice about Neuro surgery. The only problem with going to see him is that I am scared. I am always scared to see him because of what he has told me in the past.


Imagine being told that your Doctor thinks you should have brain surgery within a week. No, let's look at this further, see what else we can find out... Oh and by the way, did you have any trouble walking into the office? UGH! Here we go again.

Where's the motivation?

I need to get to the gym or to simply get outside and walk, but where's the movivation? Lately I've been filled with worry about everything. (must be the pure mind breaking free from the foggy med sats) I have to push myself to overcome and get past all the crap.

How do you all motivate yourself? I am working on creating enough crocheted items to post on Etsy. But, that is taking too long. I am saving to go on another trip, but it is taking too long. I'm like that guy on TV who doesn't even want to wait for the popcorn to finish popping. I want it all and I want it right now.

Is it just me?

I have this problem in my life and I won't be able to get rid of it for a couple more years... What do I do? I try to make the best of it. I try to do what I can so I don't have any more drama than absolutely necessary. I play the game.

Every now and then though, something happens. My problem raises it's ugly head and I get mad. Just when I think I can tolerate it, it goes above and beyond the call of duty and I can't take it. How do I control an uncontrollable sitch? OMG!

I have been doing so well. I have even stopped taking alot of medication. (oh my) It was expensive, it was making me fat and I basically didn't care about much. I really thought things were finally getting better. Whammo again. UGH!

Why is it that we women let ourselves let other people upset us so much? I think men just get mad and get over it. I stay mad and emotional for days. Sometimes longer. Razzberries!